Working hard or working harder?

So about two months ago I started working full-time again.  A real 9-5ish full-time job in an office, with colleagues, a conference room, and actual water cooler.  It's a big transition for this mom of twins. But it's one that has been, truthfully,  just amazing.  Not only is it possibly the best job I've ever had (so far!) working with incredibly smart and dedicated people on a worthwhile project that will make everyone's life better (for realz!), I got to buy some super sharp dresses AND a new mascara. Yeah, I look hot with a briefcase.

The only problem is that I was worried all this working would take away from my good quality hobby time.  My days are now full and my evenings are now packed with all the crap that I didn't get done during the day (and that I used to do while "on conference calls" from home).  Not that my husband isn't helpful.  He is.  He is fantastic.  But the sheer number of things there are to do in a day is just mind-blowing sometimes.  I will guarantee that in any given day a working mom has accomplished more by 8:30 am than most single men do in an entire week.  I hate to spoil the mystique (or terrify my under-30 audience), but I'll just say it includes, but is not limited to, making breakfast, feeding breakfast, cleaning up breakfast, cleaning kids, dressing kids, packing lunches, packing backpacks, wiping butts, drying tears, drying spills, the get-your-shoes-on-already-get-your-SHOES-ON rant, two loads of laundry and roasting a chicken.  Every day that I get to work on time (without looking homeless) is nothing short of a caffeine-induced miracle.

Totally. Me.

But look at me.  Here I am sitting outside on a quiet evening alone...just me and my laptop...back together again.  My kids are asleep, my husband is traveling for work and I'm writing.  And so what if I ate pretzels for dinner.   I found time to write.  I did it.  I proved everyone wrong.  I can work full time and be a mom and a wife and a friend and go to the gym at 5:45 am and ALSO write my blog.   I am super woman. I CAN DO ANYTHING!!!!

Well, almost anything... except maybe (long pause)...ummm...(sigh)

- Pay my phone bill on time
- Go to the dentist
- Call you on your birthday
- Call you on your not birthday
- Obey traffic laws (turning on red saves so much time)
- Keep houseplants alive
- Find my keys
- Return anything I borrowed from anyone. Ever.
- Get to the post office
- Find time for a haircut
- Shop anywhere besides Target (they sell spanx and string cheese - in one place!)
- Change that battery in the smoke detector
- Read the Economist
- Read anything for more than 5 minutes
- Remember when it's "sharing day"

And I also might...

- Have coffee for lunch
- Forget we had plans
- Leave my keys in the door (blimey hell!)
- Run out of food
- Run out of patience

This girl's mom had a turtle in her purse.
Lucky her...

- Run out in my slippers (those ugg ones trick me. they feel so much like shoes)
- Shampoo twice in the shower  (please tell me it's exhaustion not early onset dementia)

- Frantically dig through my purse at drop-off  (No? You don't want to "show and tell" my vintage Banana Republic credit card from 1998?  Really?  How about this super cool lip liner?!  It's a crayon for your face!)

And perhaps once and a while I might actually briefly consider...

- Polygamy... if she'd do the laundry and pack lunches

(This post is dedicated to the hardest working mom in radio news-makin'.  Thank you, my friend.)