Wednesday, September 12, 2012

It's elementary, my dear.

Both of my kids started kindergarten last week - real "big kid" elementary school! With teachers that make you call them "Mrs. Something" (Yes even the moms have to use the Mrs. It's as awkward as you'd think.),  gym class ("No hoop earrings!"), school supplies (You can have 'em delivered - thank you, Jesus!) and ol' fashioned lunch room drama.

Wait.  How many field trips??  8000?
How is that mathematically possible??
Of course I want to pull my hair out.  I especially can't believe the number of emails the PTO sends out...all filled with things to do and pay for and sign up for and register for and volunteer for and enroll in and be at and go to and GOOD LORD who ARE these women? Surely they do not sleep. (And surely we'd be really lost with out them!)

I think it is actually impossible for someone without kids to imagine the kind of stress a mom goes through during that first week of elementary school.   Go ahead and just try.  I'll wait.

All done?


Is it hot in here?
 
Now take whatever you've come up with and multiply it by your heart on your sleeve and add 5000 if you have twins.   Now bang your head on the desk - twice.  Then think a little bit about that first time in econometrics when you tried to do a multivariate regression and you broke into a cold sweat in the computer lab.  Add on top of that the uncomfortable feeling of being on a date and suddenly realizing you forgot to shave your legs.  Multiply it by your fear of heights (or spiders, your choice) And add 2.

I know.  It's surprising.  It surprised me too.

I mean I am kind of a cool mom and I don't fluster that easily [total lie] but this really got me.

And I am too tired to go into long dramatic details.  And I so desperately want to share with you the Marx Brothers-style antics of trying to attend "back to school" night for two kids by yourself when your husband traveling [love you!] and you literally run around like an idiot and miss all the sign-ups for EVERYTHING and you are left with having your parent-teacher conference on the moon [might as well be] but you almost cry when you see their little hand prints and you just love them so much your heart wants to explode.  Yeah, I wish I had the energy to write that.

Instead I'm going to go to bed.

Ordered.
Because in 8 hours I have to get up and pack lunches and snacks and dress my kids and walk them to school and kiss them goodbye and then drive to work...

But once I'm in the car [with coffee] and all is quiet, I'll smile from ear to ear.

Because my kids are truly amazing.  And this journey is worth every single ounce of stress.






For Emily... If you survived Stats you can survive anything :)