Getting back in the saddle...with saddlebags.

No, Yegor. That's NOT why 
she's smiling. Perv.

Let's do this people.  Let's shake off the dust or the rust or whatever the expression is.  I've been totally lazy lately and I have got to get my blogger butt back into shape. It's starting to sag.  

I am not going to spend a lot of time making excuses for myself or telling you how busy life has been and why I just can't seem to get to the computer these days. We've all heard that story and y'all don't really care.  It's not like you've been refreshing my website every day waiting with bated breath for a new post.  Don't lie.  I checked the stats.  No one's been looking for me... except for that strange guy in Russia who thinks Bordeaux at Bedtime means something very different.  He needs to stop emailing me. (You hear me, Yegor. остановите это!)

But I am here now and I am determined to take control, shake if off, and reclaim my place as your favorite blogger.  Okay that may be aiming a bit high on the outset. I know.  After all, the blogosphere is enormous and we've really only just met.

One-stop shopping for all life's big questions.

But I learn a lot from TV and one thing learned (from the Today's Show) is that when you are getting into shape you should start small.  Set targets.  Take baby steps. Switch to whole grain pasta. So my first baby step on the road to blogical fitness will be to reclaim my place as your favorite blogger...named Mimi.  Because, let's face it, the competition there isn't so steep.  And I love low-hanging fruit.

So as a warm up exercise I did a light jog around the internet...a wee bit of googling....to survey my competition.  And I did find some fierce competitors out there who are lookin' pretty tight and fit.  But I think I can knock them out one by one.  Let's give it a try, shall we? 

First up we have Mimi in NY.  Upon initial glance she is in great shape - she claims to be a "real" writer and she writes for "real" magazines and she even writes on "real" topics.  But then you actually read a little and she talks way too much about her feelings and just seems angry at the world.  If I wanted all that angst I'd hang out with my teenage babysitter.

Then there is sweet, adorable Filipino Mimi who blogs about crocheting.  So cute, right? She even offers downloads of laundry detergent coupons.  A huge plus that could make her a top contender, especially if you're going to make your own sweaters.  But I know you won't.

Next we have Mimi the "beauty goddess." It's tempting to like her best because she is all perky and blond and she dresses real nice.  But I know my audience...and that’s exactly why you won't.  Besides, anyone who calls themselves a goddess needs a reality check and a lesson in classical mythology.  Right? Next!

I know...I know..
the bow is creepier than the balloons.

Mimi in Fashionland.  Oh boy. Let’s start with the name Fashionland. Sounds like either the worst theme park or the worst board game I could imagine.  And while I can appreciate her exuberant obsession with platform shoes, there are just way too many creepy photos of her holding balloons and making sexy faces. We get it.  You love yourself.  Congratulations.  Hey wait. I totally have a friend in Russia you should meet.

Oh and let’s not forget Mimi Berlin whose blog is "on everything nice in life."  Zzzzzzz... I'm sorry. What happened? I must have fallen asleep while typing.

Finally, we have Mimi and Meg which is actually quite an enjoyable read.  But it’s written only by a woman named Meg.  No Mimi!  Mimi is her dead grandmother.  Cheater.
  
So that leaves me, Mimi of Bordeaux at Bedtime.  And even though I might disappear for months at a time, you know I'll always be back and I'll always make you laugh...or maybe giggle.... or at least smirk?  And you know I won't talk about my feelings and I won't post endless photos of platform shoes and I won't put you to sleep.

But maybe if you're lucky I'll learn to make you a sweater.  Thanks, Mimi!